Transcending the Confines of Toxic Masculinity
Masculinity has long been a topic of discussion and debate, and it is increasingly recognized as a complex and multifaceted construct that can have far-reaching effects on individuals and society. In recent years, conversations about toxic masculinity have brought the topic into the forefront, highlighting the damaging impact that narrow, restrictive ideas about masculinity can have on individuals and communities.
As a part of the LGBTQIA+ community with a masculine gender expression, I have personally experienced the impact of toxic masculinity on my life and the lives of those around me. Growing up in a society that often equates masculinity with heterosexuality and traditional gender roles, I struggled to come to terms with my own identity and my place in the world. Through my journey of self-discovery, I have come to realize the importance of embracing a more inclusive and authentic understanding of masculinity, and I want to share my story in the hope of inspiring others to do the same.
In this blog post, I will explore the impact of toxic masculinity and my personal journey towards a healthier understanding of masculinity. I hope that by sharing my story, I can encourage others to reflect on their own perceptions of masculinity and to challenge toxic masculinity in their own lives and communities.
Growing up without a male role model in my life, I was uncertain about what it truly meant to be a man. I was surrounded by strong and loving women in my grandmother and aunties and female cousins, and they greatly influenced my development. However, as I entered my early teenage years and encountered a more diverse and challenging world, I struggled to reconcile my own identity with the expectations of masculinity that surrounded me. I wanted to fit in and be perceived as masculine, so I began to adopt the behaviors of my male peers, even if they were harmful or oppressive.
I felt immense pressure to conform to traditional notions of masculinity, and I was deeply conflicted about my own sexuality. I was afraid of being seen as gay or not conforming to society’s expectations of manliness, so I tried to hide my true self and act in a way that I thought would be perceived as masculine. I took on traditionally masculine activities like going to the gym and playing sports, and I engaged in harmful behaviors like objectifying and demeaning women.
As I continued to mature and grow, I found myself searching for a deeper understanding of masculinity and my place in the world. I started to realize that the narrow and harmful definition of masculinity that I had been exposed to during my early teenage years was not the only way to define and understand masculinity. I became more open-minded and was exposed to a wider diversity of people and perspectives, which allowed me to gain a new and more nuanced understanding of masculinity.
This new understanding of masculinity emphasized the importance of being confident, secure, and true to oneself, without the need to resort to harmful behaviors or put others down. I realized that masculinity can encompass a wide range of traits, such as strength, compassion, and vulnerability, and that these traits are not mutually exclusive. I also came to the realization that one does not need to conform to societal expectations or stereotypes in order to be masculine.
With this newfound perspective, my definition of being masculine has shifted and evolved. I still enjoy going to the gym and playing sports, but these activities are just a small part of what being masculine means to me. For me, being masculine now means embracing my true self and being comfortable in my own skin. Masculinity means treating others with respect and dignity, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, or any other aspect of their identity. It means embracing the parts of myself that may not fit traditional notions of masculinity, such as my sensitivity and emotional intelligence, and using these traits to better connect with others and make a positive impact in the world.
Embracing this more inclusive and authentic understanding of masculinity has brought me a new level of happiness and fulfillment. It has allowed me to be more confident and comfortable in who I am, and to pursue my passions and aspirations with greater purpose and direction. By embracing a more inclusive and authentic understanding of masculinity, I have been able to create a more fulfilling and meaningful life for myself, and I hope to inspire others to do the same.
Looking back, I am deeply ashamed of the actions I took to fit in and hide my true self. But I understand that I was influenced by the toxic and oppressive environment around me, and I do not blame myself nor those people for my past actions. I am grateful for the journey of self-discovery and growth that has led me to a healthier understanding of masculinity and my place in the world.
With this, I urge each and every one of you to also assess your own beliefs and perceptions about masculinity. We all have the capability and power to challenge toxic masculinity in our own lives and in the communities we belong to, and to promote positive and healthy expressions of masculinity that can bring benefits to everyone.
In the Philippine context, toxic masculinity continues to be a prevalent issue that has far-reaching consequences not only for men but also for women, the LGBTQIA+ community, and other marginalized groups. This toxic form of masculinity is often perpetuated through cultural norms and societal expectations that prioritize aggression, power, and control, while downplaying the importance of empathy, emotional intelligence, and vulnerability. Nevertheless, by embracing a more inclusive and authentic form of masculinity, we can work towards breaking these harmful norms and creating a more equal and just society for all.
Promoting positive and healthy expressions of masculinity is not just a matter of ideals, but has real-world implications for individuals and society. It is time to challenge toxic masculinity and embrace a more inclusive and authentic form of masculinity. This change won’t happen overnight, but by actively promoting a culture of respect, dignity, and empathy, we can work towards a more equitable and just world. It is time for us to acknowledge and address the negative impact that toxic masculinity has had on our society and to strive for a better future for all.
Let us work together to create a world where all individuals can embrace their true selves, without feeling the need to conform to harmful societal expectations and stereotypes.